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    #76
    ...And probably making that face...

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      #77
      Okay - anyone for a Beethovenian "Knock Knock" joke?
      Right.

      Vienna, 1826.

      Schindler: Knock, knock!
      Beethoven: -------------
      Schindler: Knock, knock!
      Beethoven: -------------
      Schindler: Knock, knock!

      Well, you get the idea .........................(or maybe not).

      Comment


        #78
        Originally posted by Michael View Post
        Okay - anyone for a Beethovenian "Knock Knock" joke?
        Right.

        Vienna, 1826.

        Schindler: Knock, knock!
        Beethoven: -------------
        Schindler: Knock, knock!
        Beethoven: -------------
        Schindler: Knock, knock!

        Well, you get the idea .........................(or maybe not).
        Not bad, Michael. May I suggest an improvement?

        Schindler : Knock, knock, knock, knooock (ta, ta, ta, taaaa)
        Beethoven : ---------

        etc etc

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          #79
          Originally posted by Philip View Post
          Not bad, Michael. May I suggest an improvement?

          Schindler : Knock, knock, knock, knooock (ta, ta, ta, taaaa)
          Beethoven : ---------

          etc etc
          To which Beethoven might reply (if he could hear): "Ta ta ta TUM".
          (He could also plead the Fifth and continue to say nothing.)

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            #80
            With regard to recent postings, I say 'hats off' (the Frenchies say 'Chapeau!') to our all-time alliteration amir PDG (I tried PDG, I tried) and pun-on-words master Michael. As to administrator Peter, perhaps one day we can 'break bread' (and make 'artistic' crumbs) over your Bechstein? One can always dream ...
            Last edited by Quijote; 03-13-2009, 11:06 PM. Reason: Keep it up

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              #81
              A man goes to the doctor.

              "Doc, I'm not well."

              Says Doc: "Can you describe the symptoms?"

              Says man: "Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair."

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                #82
                I don't really get it, but I think it has something to do with the Simpsons.

                Here's mine :

                Old and regrettably very ugly lady goes to see a sex therapist (after due consultation with her regular GP).

                Sex therapist (ST) : How can I help?
                Old and regrettably ugly lady (ORUL) : My husband refuses to make love to me.
                ST : Oh? Why is that?
                ORUL : He says I look like a goat.
                ST : A goat?
                ORUL : Yes, a goat.
                ST : Well, we'd better take a look. Take off your clothes, please.
                [ORUL takes off her clothes...]
                ST : Ergh! Baaah !!!
                Last edited by Quijote; 03-13-2009, 11:57 PM. Reason: Sorry

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                  #83
                  So glad you're sorry...

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                    #84
                    So, this is the place. I was saying, my wife (crazed German, looks like Claudia Schiffer, black boots, whips, the whole thing) ... er, which forum am I on?
                    Last edited by Quijote; 03-14-2009, 12:28 AM. Reason: Blimey, I think I prefer Cage

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                      #85
                      Originally posted by Philip View Post
                      I don't really get it, but I think it has something to do with the Simpsons.

                      Here's mine :

                      Old and regrettably very ugly lady goes to see a sex therapist (after due consultation with her regular GP).

                      Sex therapist (ST) : How can I help?
                      Old and regrettably ugly lady (ORUL) : My husband refuses to make love to me.
                      ST : Oh? Why is that?
                      ORUL : He says I look like a goat.
                      ST : A goat?
                      ORUL : Yes, a goat.
                      ST : Well, we'd better take a look. Take off your clothes, please.
                      [ORUL takes off her clothes...]
                      ST : Ergh! Baaah !!!
                      *FAlls on the floor laughing hard*

                      This sort of reminds me My friend's sister! hehehehahahaha!!! :-D

                      Comment


                        #86
                        So, this Irishman walks into a bar, on St. Patricks' Day, and shouts:
                        "Ouch!"
                        (It was an iron bar).

                        Comment


                          #87
                          Originally posted by PDG View Post
                          A man goes to the doctor.

                          "Doc, I'm not well."

                          Says Doc: "Can you describe the symptoms?"

                          Says man: "Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair."


                          Which reminds me of the one about the guy who went to his doctor, complaining that he kept dreaming of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.
                          And the doctor asks: "How long have you been having these disney spells?"

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                            #88
                            Which reminds me of the guy who goes to his doctor (a different doctor) and says that he wakes up every morning humming "The Green Green Grass of Home".
                            "I see," says the doctor. "It sounds like an advanced case of 'Tom Jones Syndrome' "
                            "Is it a fairly common complaint?" asks the patient.
                            "Well", says the doctor, "It's not unusual".

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                              #89
                              Which reminds me of the (slightly rude) one about the soprano who went to her doctor with an embarrassing complaint.
                              "Doctor," she said, "every time I hit high C I break wind. But the funny thing. is that there is no smell whatsoever."
                              The doctor was a bit sceptical so he asked her to demonstrate and she produced a number of high Cs with the accompanying flatulence.
                              "See?" she said, "no smell."
                              The doctor proceeded to write out a letter.
                              "I am sending you to a specialist for a small operation."
                              "I can't have one right now, Doctor. I am appearing in an opera and I have to sit down in several scenes."
                              "You'll have no problem sitting down, madam," says the doctor,"the operation is on your nose."

                              Comment


                                #90
                                I was reading an article on Gandhi recently. I never realised that he had very bad breath. Also, he had huge callouses on his feet because he never wore shoes. And his general health was very bad.
                                In fact, you could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic cursed by halitosis.

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