A former member of this forum who considers only two composers top-rate - Handel and Beethoven - now runs a classical music forum of his own elsewhere. I read recently for the first time that Handel was a glutton, who amazed and sickened his friends with the amount of food he ate at a sitting, and even, when inviting others to dinner, selfishly kept the largest amount of food for himself. Then I could not resist poking a little fun at the Orpheus of 18th century London on that forum, whose owner has so often disparaged my beloved JS Bach in GF Handel's favor. In a minor creative frenzy unparalleled in my own life, I disgorged a small bunch of Handel gluttony limericks in one sitting. Hopefully in the Comedy Corner they will not be thought inappropriate. Although they did not get me banned from that other forum, they came within a boar's whisker of it. A succulent roast boar's whisker.
George Handel's genius was noted
for music that raptur'sly floated
in realms high above
but his down-to-earth love
was to eat like a pig and and get bloated.
Handel said why eat a goose
If instead you could feast on a moose
But better than that
If you want to get fat
Is to eat a moose stuffed with a goose.
Cheaper than operas to stage
Oratorios became all the rage
With profits therefrom
George F. had become
The biggest man of the age
Lead pois'ning is thought to be why
Some composers early did die
Yet it might be more fitting
To remember one sitting
When Handel scarfed down fifty pies
Handel and Bach fain would meet
If Handel could get past the street
where a tavern door boasted
the odor of fresh roasted
walrus, my lord what a treat!
Handel was eating a tree
when a root knocked his dentures free
He swallowed them too
"What is one to do? -
They taste great also!" said he.
Handel woke up one fine morn
Starving, with stomach forlorn,
He ate the bedpost
then swallowed down most
of the box spring, but his windpipe got torn
George Handel's genius was noted
for music that raptur'sly floated
in realms high above
but his down-to-earth love
was to eat like a pig and and get bloated.
Handel said why eat a goose
If instead you could feast on a moose
But better than that
If you want to get fat
Is to eat a moose stuffed with a goose.
Cheaper than operas to stage
Oratorios became all the rage
With profits therefrom
George F. had become
The biggest man of the age
Lead pois'ning is thought to be why
Some composers early did die
Yet it might be more fitting
To remember one sitting
When Handel scarfed down fifty pies
Handel and Bach fain would meet
If Handel could get past the street
where a tavern door boasted
the odor of fresh roasted
walrus, my lord what a treat!
Handel was eating a tree
when a root knocked his dentures free
He swallowed them too
"What is one to do? -
They taste great also!" said he.
Handel woke up one fine morn
Starving, with stomach forlorn,
He ate the bedpost
then swallowed down most
of the box spring, but his windpipe got torn
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