Comedy Corner

[Megan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRZMwZ4Z_Ag

[Enrique]

Not a joke, but I did not want to open a thread just for this:

After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock 'n' roll died out.
It was replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life
more advanced than the lichen family.
-- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly
Do"

[Quijote]

I'm all for using non-polluting energy sources, but really !!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environmen...own-down-devon

[Michael]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.



MAN: "Hello"


WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"



MAN: "Yes."



WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"



MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."



WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."



MAN: "How much?"



WOMAN: "$90,000."



MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."



WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."



MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."



WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"



MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."



The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in complete astonishment, mouths wide open.



He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"



.

I'm stealing this for my Facebook page, Megan, thanks!

[Enrique]

Famous last words:
(1) Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
(2) Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there.
(3) What happens if you touch these two wires tog--
(4) We won't need reservations.
(5) It's always sunny there this time of the year.
(6) Don't worry, it's not loaded.
(7) They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.

[Enrique]

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
I haven't had time for tobacco since.

-- Arturo Toscanini

Toscanini must have contracted the English humour. The remark about tobacco will seem odd to a regular smoker but not to the true one. Tasting it had a time and a place in another epoch, it seems.

[Quijote]

Famous last words à la Quijote:
"Nah, don't worry about sending me the part before the concert, I'll sight-read it, no problem."

[Quijote]

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
I haven't had time for tobacco since.

-- Arturo Toscanini

Toscanini must have contracted the English humour. The remark about tobacco will seem odd to a regular smoker but not to the true one. Tasting it had a time and a place in another epoch, it seems.

Wish I had had that happy 'conjoncture' !!

[Quijote]

Other famous last words à la Quijote;
"Oh, haven't played that in a while. No worries, I'll remember how it goes."

[Enrique]

Famous last words à la Quijote:
"Nah, don't worry about sending me the part before the concert, I'll sight-read it, no problem."

Worst. Somebody was sent the score before the concert and he put it upside down.

[Quijote]

And a particular favourite of mine (à la Quijote, the night before a performance of Walton's Façade that saw some pretty serious heavy drinking):
Concerned colleague : "Quijote, do you really need to have that last shot of Vodka? You've got a lunchtime concert tomorrow, remember?"
Quijote : "Nah, it's a doddle!"
Result : a bit of a disaster (couple of fasle entries, and trying not to vomit during the concert because of a rather extreme hangover).

[Enrique]

Wish I had had that happy 'conjoncture' !!

I too. But smoking is dangerous and hence we live an adventure, at each step facing death.

[Quijote]

Enrique, my 'famous last words à la Quijote' are personal (and embarrasing) true-life stories!

[Enrique]

And a particular favourite of mine (à la Quijote, the night before a performance of Walton's Façade that saw some pretty serious heavy drinking):
Concerned colleague : "Quijote, do you really need to have that last shot of Vodka? You've got a lunchtime concert tomorrow, remember?"
Quijote : "Nah, it's a doddle!"
Result : a bit of a disaster (couple of fasle entries, and trying not to vomit during the concert because of a rather extreme hangover).

Say, what do you do at the concerts?

[Quijote]

On good days, played very well (I am told).