advice anyone?

[lauren]

My boyfriend hates classical music and makes fun of me alot for listening. Any advice on how to get him to come around to some music we both can enjoy? It's starting to really bother me.

[Joy]

Yea, drop him! (Just kidding) although you generally cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I've had some experience with this and it is frustrating when your friends do not adhere to your type of music especially if music is such a big part of your life like it is mine. A perfect world would be to have someone who shares your love of classical music, someone you could go to concerts with and have an intelligible converstion with about music but, alas, sometimes life is not that way. In other words, I don't think you'll get him to change so you'll have to start looking for other things to share. Easier said than done at times. You can always join us here where we all have a love of this music and share our views on it, that's what places like this are all about, that and learning.

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'Truth and beauty joined'

[Chris]

I advise you to find a better boyfriend.

[PDG]

Originally posted by Joy:
Yea, drop him! (Just kidding) although you generally cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I've had some experience with this ..........You can always join us here where we all have a love of this music and share our views on it, that's what places like this are all about, that and learning.

Joy, sorry to juxtapose your thoughts, but in some ways classical music cannot replace a boyfriend or girlfriend! Now get back to your orchestra pit! (forgive me...)

[PDG]

Originally posted by Chris:
I advise you to find a better boyfriend.

But Chris, he may have other qualities...He may be about to invent the first space rocket capable of travelling to Saturn (with free travel for senior citizens), or something? Okay, I've had a beer.......

[Marek Krukowski]

Originally posted by lauren:
My boyfriend hates classical music and makes fun of me alot for listening. Any advice on how to get him to come around to some music we both can enjoy? It's starting to really bother me.

Does he prefer any kind of music?

Marek

[PDG]

Originally posted by Marek Krukowski:
Does he prefer any kind of music?

Marek

Probably only what he likes. (philistine.......)

[lauren]

He Prefers hard rock and screamo. Yea I don't have a chance getting him to like Beethoven. Any cute 19-25 year olds guys out there who love classical music? Hehehe ;o) Just joking! Only it would be great to have someone to love what I love. I mean he doesn't even like how I play my music. He always wants me to play crazy guitar riffs on my cello. Yea really! Can you beleive that?

[Nightklavier]

Interesting dilemma, lauren. I have a similar situation... my girlfriend makes fun of me for listening to classical music. The only thing is, I'm overly passionate about it because I have my own "music room" with busts, portraits, a piano, all kinds of classical music junk and hundreds of CD's, and I'm going to college to make a career out of this. So I'm a little more fanatical than the usual aficionado.

Anyway, I played some Beethoven for her one time in the car on a trip somewhere, pieces I thought anyone could like, and after the CD was over she said, "It's time to annoy YOU and play some of my music." She turned on the radio with some awful pop stuff that I can't stand. I just kind of frowned... I had Beethoven's Romance No. 2, Piano Concerto No. 1, Les Adieux sonata... I mean, how could that music possibly annoy someone? It was a shock.

I then made a mistake of putting the Appassionata in, seeing if maybe exciting virtuosic classical piano enticed her where the mellow lyrical stuff didn't... No. She said, "I hate this banging stuff." I guess I realized then not to ever play Liszt for her. If Beethoven is banging, Liszt is like setting off a thousand pounds of dynamite in a kitchen.

Even when I play piano, she gets so bored and looks like she's about to fall asleep. I'm not playing that badly. The Moonlight sonata should evoke tears, not snores... but oh well.

I feel your slight disappointment and maybe pain, lauren. It's nice to be able to share your passion with your partner. And music is such an intimate thing that I would imagine it only enhances relationships (Clara and Robert Schumann for example). But my best advice is to respect what he likes and still adhere to your own passion about it. You can't shove what you like down someone's throat and if he has other qualities, like PDG says, then there's no reason to be picky just because someone doesn't share your same interests. Btw, I'm 21, so maybe we could swap my girlfriend with your boyfriend =P

Really, though, you just need to find some close friends who share your passion for it. If it's important that your boyfriend like the same kind of music, you can always experiment. Play some baroque stuff for him, then try Mozart, maybe even Liszt (he's the heavy metal of classical music anyway). If there's nothing he likes in the entire realm of classical music, then at least you know you tried to find something.

[Sorrano]

Something you might consider is teaching him about the personalities of the composers rather than try and convert him to the music. If he can appreciate some of the issues they had to face and the ways that they overcame obstacles, for example, he might be more open to some of their music.

[Rutradelusasa]

Originally posted by lauren:
He Prefers hard rock and screamo. Yea I don't have a chance getting him to like Beethoven. Any cute 19-25 year olds guys out there who love classical music? Hehehe ;o) Just joking! Only it would be great to have someone to love what I love. I mean he doesn't even like how I play my music. He always wants me to play crazy guitar riffs on my cello. Yea really! Can you beleive that?

meeee! MEEEE!
*raises hand and waves*


lol



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"Wer ein holdes weib errugen..."

[Peter]

First and foremost he should respect you and not poke fun - at least make that clear to him.

How about getting him to see a film such as Amadeus? I know several people
who have become Mozart fans through that! Mozart may not be his thing, but you should try to make him aware of the enormous variety and styles of western 'classical music' which has around 1000 years of music to offer. I know of someone who listens only to Wagner and heavy metal!

Try him out with a wide variety of styles - Stravinsky's Rite of Spring or Firebird suite, Wagner's prelude to Lohengrin act 3 or overture to Meistersingers and if he doesn't like opera try this excellent cd - The Ring without words recorded by Lorin Maazel and the Berlin Philharmonic. 4th Movement of Mahler's 5th symphony - this was used in the film Death in Venice. Finale of Beethoven's 9th and 5th symphonies or the Emperor piano concerto. The 3rd movement of Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony or the first movement of his 1st piano concerto. These are just a few suggestions out of thousands I could make, but the point is to emphasise the huge variety - it is NOT 'all the same'.

Hopefully having found something he doesn't 'hate' then take him to a live concert - nothing beats that. To dispel any image problem preferably one with your National Youth orchestra - then he will see that it isn't music for old fogeys and that young people are very much involved in this.

Good luck and even if it fails, you yourself will gain enormously from the experience.

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'Man know thyself'



[This message has been edited by Peter (edited 08-19-2006).]

[Peter]

Originally posted by Sorrano:
Something you might consider is teaching him about the personalities of the composers rather than try and convert him to the music. If he can appreciate some of the issues they had to face and the ways that they overcame obstacles, for example, he might be more open to some of their music.

Excellent suggestion Sorrano - much of the problem comes from not knowing the historical and personal background. Beethoven's own era of the French Revolution and Napoleonic aftermath is fascinating - I'd start there!
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'Man know thyself'

[This message has been edited by Peter (edited 08-19-2006).]

[PDG]

Originally posted by Peter:
First and foremost he should respect you and not poke fun - at least make that clear to him.

How about getting him to see a film such as Amadeus? I know several people
who have become Mozart fans through that!

Good idea. Another excellent film is Mr. Holland's Opus with Richard Dreyfuss, where he converts (through gentle persuasion) a classroom full of Laurenboyfriends to the joys of classical music (incl. Beethoven).

[Athea]

He doesn't like even only one classical composition? I hope to help you some good advices here, and if your boyfriend was still averse to classical music maybe try to give him more time. I had a friend who could not understand my love of classical music but I was so surprised when I learned that he bought some classical recordings for himself!